dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
