when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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