So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
