I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
