made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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