So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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