What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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