Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
