How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
