You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
