I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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