What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
