Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
