How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
