I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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