she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
