i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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