k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
they're like a gay fantastic four
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
