I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You can't special order awesome
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
