apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
