At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Soap is not a condiment
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
