no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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