I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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