If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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