Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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