yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
