It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
