I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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