I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
