NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
