ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
