curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
