I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
