no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
