You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
