something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize