Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
