I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
