yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
