Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
