North Korea, Best Korea!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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