I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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