You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
