is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
