woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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