I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
