why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
