Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
