i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The struggles of a small town man whore
i think im in europe. pls send help
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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