So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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