can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
