Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize