You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
