How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
