Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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