Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Shame - the story of my life.
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