She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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