there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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