You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
