so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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