Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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