dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
