Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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