Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
